Problem of Nerve
by lethal paine
Summary: Haruko came back. But things weren't supposed to be this way... [one shot, HarukoxNaota -rated for sexual content]


Problem of Nerve   
by Seiri   
  
A/N: Taking a break from Unknown Potential, which has been updated yesterday for all of you who are following it. Anyway, this fic, although not a song fic, was inspired by The Offspring's Self Esteem. I heard it a few nights ago, and I thought hey, this would make a pretty interesting FLCL fic..   
  
It's has a twist to it tho. I don't really know if it's completely in character, but I think for the situation it is. Haruko likes messing with Naota, and Naota's resolve is lost because he's so in love with her. Well, ... read the fic and you'll understand.   
  
I put the lyrics to the song on the bottom, just for some kinda reference. I really like this fic for some reason. It was fun to write, even if it is just a one shot.   
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His gaze bore into the wall but a few feet away from him. Naota slept. Well, no, he didn't sleep -because if he was asleep he wouldn't have been staring at the wall. He tried to convince himself that he was asleep, or at least getting there. Maybe then he'd finally be able to block out all activity of the world outside his room, outside his door.   
  
A little more then half a year ago, Haruko had returned to the Shikenkuni bakery. Naota, now at age 15, thought that be was going to be truly happy this time around, because he wouldn't let her just leave him this time.   
  
Where had things gone so wrong?   
  
Nothing had changed. Well, almost nothing. In fact the only real change that had happened this time was supposed to be extremely important.   
  
Downstairs, as he lay in his bed, sake was generously being passed around, and loud noises of laugher and mirth reached his ears. At least one thing he didn't have to worry about in this situation was Kamon. Naota no longer envied his father for time spent with Haruko. What he did have to worry about was entirely different however.   
  
How did things go so wrong?   
  
After a while, the noise from the downstairs hushed and died out, followed by lazy sounding footfalls up the stairs. Would Naota just let it happen again? He focused on the plain surface of the wall as his face burned at the thought of the last time things went so horribly wrong.   
  
A loud knocking erupted on his door.   
  
Taaa-kun. Open the door. The familiar nasal voice called.   
  
Naota had locked it. The knocking continued, and guilt pressed down on his chest. He couldn't just leave her out there, could he? He stood up and walked over to the door, unlocking it and sliding it aside. There goes defense number one... hopefully he wouldn't need the rest.   
  
There Haruko stood, and looked him dead in the eye due her slouched posture. He noticed her tight grip on the door frame, keeping her balanced. She lazily smiled at him. This must have meant that Kamon and Shikenkuni had passed out. She could most likely hold her own much better then most Earthlings could. That meant that her point of view right now was ... tweaked. Disgusted, he rolled his eyes and turned away from the open door and retreated back into bed. Please let his second defense work.   
  
Naota refused to look at the left side of his room, and once again returned his vision to the lonely wall. To his almost complete horror, he felt someone walkover to his bunk -and his horror was validated as a body joined him under his sheets, wrapping their arms around his waist, resting -borderline dangerously- on his hips. His defense system was failing. Things were repeating as if it were the first time it had happened.   
  
Everything would have remained fine if they stayed the way they were. In fact, he would have given anything for them to stay as they were -but no. His hopes were dashed as he felt a pair of sake lips plant light butterfly kisses from the meeting of his neck and jaw to the meeting of his neck and shoulders. Naota went rigid and pulled away, toward the safety of the wall. His last defenses were beginning to slip.   
  
a groan emitted from Haruko as his shoulder made impact on his mattress with force as she pushed him back. Now facing the bottom of the upper bunk, his back pressed against the bed, he hoped against everything his last defense would save him. Naota sadly turned his face towards the wall once again, away from the painfully beautiful figure on top of him. A soft, warm, and wet thing began to caress his collar bone as fingers softly probed the skin underneath the hem of his shirt -around his navel, and he could not contain a shiver. Sorrowfully, he felt his last defense slipping. As the caressing and probing became more intense, he had to verbalize his defense, in a last attempt to save himself.   
  
No... don't.   
  
The words escaped his mouth much more weakly then he would have liked. In response to this, a sucking sensation began on the skin above his pulse, replacing the light kisses. Naota's heart began to race as he struggled against the touch, trying to squirm away -only to find his arms pinned above his head and a growing pressure on his abdomen. Haruko... don't do this... I'm... I'm only 15. Despite his breath becoming more shallow, Naota tried any of the excuses he could think of.   
  
Finally, she spoke.   
  
I don't care. there was a slight slur to her words.   
  
With this, she moved one of her hands from his arms, securing both with one, and her left hand gentlely slid down Naota's inner thigh. To his despair, his final defense fell as a light moan escaped his mouth. He was aroused, and she could feel it.   
  
Haruko's mouth was next to his ear as she continued in a low whisper. You want this... A light pressure of teeth on the bottom of his earlobe. His heart fell and soared as his body gained control of his thoughts. He was able to make out a whisper in return as the hand slid up his thigh. Yes... yes. Naota shut his eyes tightly, letting a few tears fall.   
  
It seemed he could only form that one word. He repeated it like some kind of desperate prayer as she straddled his hips, spreading her legs apart. She pressed herself against his arousal. This time he was able to make out a new word in a loud moan. ... Haruko...   
  
And he knew he had lost himself to her once more.   
  
  
What pained him the most about the whole situation was that, for the briefest moment, it seemed real. As if she really meant it -and he was lost to this each time, letting out three simple words as reached his climax inside of her.   
  
I love you.   
  
The three small words that would crush him afterwards, when reality hit and the strong scent of sake interrupted his senses, and he knew he was the fool yet again. He was just the loser of the game, unable to bend the rules in his favor.   
  
When he would awake, he was alone -shamefully naked. She slept in the bunk above him, as if nothing had taken place, and as far as she was concerned -it hadn't.   
  
And that one morning, the pain was blinding as Naota realized that he wanted it... he wanted things this way. At least he was getting her attention for a moment, and for that moment he could pretend it was real. Pretend that she loved him in return, and wasn't just using him...   
  
He wanted it like this.   
  
  
---------------   
**Self Esteem -The Offspring**   
  
I wrote her off for the tenth time today   
And practiced all the things I would say   
But she came over   
I lost my nerve   
I took her back and made her dessert   
Now I know I'm being used   
That's okay cause I've got no self esteem   
  
We make plans to go out at night   
I wait till 2 then I turn out the light   
All this rejection's got me so low   
If she keeps it up I just might tell her so   
  
When she's saying that she wants only me   
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends   
When she's saying that I'm like a disease   
Then I wonder how much more I can spend   
Well I guess I should stick up for myself   
But I really think it's better this way   
The more you suffer   
The more it shows you really care Right?   
  
Now I'll relate this a little bit   
That happens more than I'd like to admit   
Late at night she knocks on my door   
Drunk again and looking to score   
  
Now I know I should say no   
But that's kind of hard when she's ready to go   
I may be dumb   
But I'm not a dweeb   
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem   
  
  
There you go, hope you enjoyed reading it. Yeah ... I know I'm twisted. X3 -Seiri


End file.
